Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize