I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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