Well douche your snatch and let's go!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
