If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
