She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
