So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
