Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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