We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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