i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize