Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
