Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize