would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She announced her abortion via fbk
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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