S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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