I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
