just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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