Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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