...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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