He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
