I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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