so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
