i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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