She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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