Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
