I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
