This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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