I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
