I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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