East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
