she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
