We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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