i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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