Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Two words: nipple clamps
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