well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
