i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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