The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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