TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
