OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
