sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
