I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
