Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
