Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come

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(616): View more from Michigan

those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match

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(613): View more from Ontario

you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates

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