Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
