how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
