i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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