i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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