Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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