what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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