i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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