Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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