Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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