I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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