Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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