Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
