the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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