OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
