Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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