What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
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Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize