Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
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Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
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Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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